Mama Drama

Messy: So this morning started off swimmingly...actually felt exceedingly joyful, energetic, and peaceful. When I got to school, I headed to my mobile as usual, but as I began preparing for the day something didn't feel right. My stomach ached, my head was spinning and heat rushed through my body. I knew I had to get out of my mobile and into the building, but I was afraid I wouldn't make it. I made my way to the building, but had to stop and sit on the pavement. My heart was RaCiNg, and I knew this feeling all too well. The same feeling I had as a freshman in high school before I face planted on the corner of my grandma's coffee table, out cold...

Somehow I pulled it together and made my way into the commons. I MurMuReD words about being sick and needing the bathroom while the head custodian and lunch lady filled me with orange juice, led me in breathing exercises and practically carried me to the bathroom.

I was shocked when minutes later I was feeling MuCh better and ready to carry on with the day. However, that quickly changed when 40 minutes later the scene replayed again. This time I went to the office, and in a matter of moments 6 paramedics and many colleagues who quickly jumped into MoM MoDe were attending to my every need. After refusing the ambulance, Dan came and took me home where I remained on the couch until our appointment this afternoon.

Beautiful: It's amazing how data, lesson plans, and behavior issues seem so meaningless in a moment like this. The anxieties of a regular school day FaDe and colleagues become moms, friends and nurses all at once. The love and care I felt in this silly little moment was tremendous.

Lying on the couch, each little baby fluttery flip brought a deep sense of peace and joy after such a DrAmAtiC morning. Now more than ever I'm realizing the great gift within me. I can't quite put it to words, but I know that this chaos has brought me to a place of deeper connection with our little baby.

I felt like a mommy for the first time today. The doctor was searching for the heart beat in all the wrong places, and I knew exactly where our baby was, not on the sides but in the center. Sure enough when she finally moved to the center the 132 rhythm filled the air and my heart. How beautiful to think that those tiny flutters are felt by me and me alone, what a gift.

Grateful: So many dear ones carried me today. Our downstairs neighbor Jen found Dan when I could not reach him, Ontarioville School became a family to me, and the paramedics were so kind. Though I did not call out to the Lord for help in the midst of the chaos, He answered me.

Before you call, I answer.

All of this happened before the kids came, I was able to make it inside and find people, and our little baby is safe, content, and fluttering more than ever. Stealing away all of my iron must be giving little Bailey a BoOsT of energy :)

Lord you are good. Thank you for being with us today.

9 Weeks, 2 Days

A typical day in my 7 weeks until now life...

• Wake up at 6:45 (that's 45 minutes after my arrival time at school in a not pregnant state!)

• Consume half of my Kashi bar in bed dreading the second sounding of the alarm and feeling sorry for Dan having to hear my, "Crunch, crunch. Heavy breathing. Crunch, crunch".

• Roll out of bed and get ready for the day only to get back in bed from 7:20-7:40.

• Arrive at work, pray really hard for strength and energy to make it through six hours with my 30 darlings.

• 10:00 a.m. STARVING. Make my way over to the closet in my classroom, pretend to get books, but chomp down as many pretzels as possible hoping for once my students aren't paying attention to me!

• 12:00 LUNCH...YES! Try to act as normal as possible feeling too sick and tired to engage in normal teacher's lounge banter and hoping no one comments on the absence of my daily Coca-Cola.
  

• Pray my way through the last hour and 45 minutes of school and dash out the door with the kids...never thought I would succumb to this, but Dan says I have 30 kids to take care of for 3 more months and one kid to take care of for 18 years....It's time to prioritize though I do think 18 years sounds a bit too short :)

• 3:00 Nausea and exhaustion...down for the count!

Needless to say these are crazy days, but I've never been so grateful and excited to be exhausted and sick...Who knew a little baby, the size of a grape could require so much energy! I guess God is using all of my gusto for this little baby...And I'm okay with that. :)

Bling, Bling...

It is quite possible that my engagement ring has never seemed so BeAuTiFuL to me as it does today. Let's just say I have been given the blessing of living, in a small way, the Parable of the Lost Coin...

Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and LoSeS one. Won't she light a lamp and sweep the entire house and SeArCh carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she will call in her friends and neighbors and say, "Rejoice with me because I have found my lost coin." In the same way, there is JoY in the presence of God's angels when even one sinner repents.

After a long day with my 28 DaRliNgS, following a night of searching, I am too spent to ReLiVe the tale at present...coming soon, but I can say that in a small way I have been awakened anew to the deep JoY of finding that which is lost and the SoRrOw that comes while longing for its return...

The Socks vs. Me...

I took this picture earlier this week in an attempt to EmPaThIzE with one of my Blogger/Facebook Buddies...You know who you are :)

I dedicate this post to you and anyone else who continually BaTtLeS the infamous sock BrIgAdE that is an ever present ThReaT to the organization and cleanliness of my home and many others throughout the world...

How is it that the SoCkS never cease to DeFeAt me and ObLiTeRaTe any sense of order I strive to maintain?....How is it that every week I throw up my hands in SuRrEnDer as the SoCkS overtake my life?...

Perhaps it is one of those MysTeRiEs in life too great for me to ever CoMpReHeNd...How is it that the socks AlwAyS win?...

Too Late

I was just about ready to do a True Confessions entry on how my Christmas tree was still up and how I had AbSoLuTeLy no intention of taking it down anytime soon...how plugging the tree in and seeing its cozy, warm glow makes getting up at the DreAdFuL hour of six a.m. a little less painful, etc....



When much to my SuRpRiSe my love met me at the door on Tuesday, our tree in hand, hauling it to be disposed of in a location that shall remain UnDiScLoSeD (I'll simply say that I am a rule follower...Mr. Bailey is not ;)). It should also be noted that the tree was still wrapped in LiGhTs while it was headed for destruction! The scene was quite hilarious...scads of pine needles and ornaments everywhere...I must have said something to the effect of "No! I can't believe it's over...our tree, our beautiful tree!" about ten times...

I so wish I had a picture of Dan carrying our light adorned tree out of this place...such DeTeRmInAtiOn!

At any rate...after all of that I'm afraid I still have a true confession to make...

We haven't sat on our couch all week... I just can't bring myself to pack up those lovely ornaments...

Attention Husbands of the World...

So if you're a HuSbaNd, and you're leaving your wife for the weekend, and it just happens to be the end of an ExTrEmEly overwhelming week...you know, the kind that leaves the kitchen looking like this:







You might want to be PrOaCtiVe and SmArT about the situation.


For example, you might want to leave your wife a voice mail like this one so she's not surprised that you left her with the T.W.D. (this term was created by my dad: Toxic Waste Dump) you two have created over the course of the week:

"Hi Honey it's me. I just wanted to call before I leave to apologize for the mess that I'm leaving. I feel really sad about it. I can clean on Sunday when I get back and,
hopefully I can make it up to you with a date Sunday night."

Though acknowledging the situation in this way is good, you might not want to assume that a voice mail totally covers your tracks.
It does prepare her for what's to come, but let's be HoNeSt when she walks through the door and sees first hand the MeSs you and she have been trying to IgNoRe all week...and all she really wants to do is ReLaX... and she realizes that you are ReLaXiNg around some GoRgeOuS lake surrounded by trees turning their leaves into the BrIlliAnT shades of AuTuMn...and though the idea of you cleaning on Sunday sounds good, you know that in reality there's no way she could stand herself any longer if she left it until then...

You might also want to leave something like this:

Honey Love,

I miss you already. You are my love. I'm so sorry it's still a TrAsH PiT.
Please forgive me. I'll clean on Sunday. Think about our date on Sunday.

Love,
Grizz

...that way when she sees this:

...She'll MuSteR up a GrAciOuS attitude instead of FrUsTrAtiOn. SmIle and LaUgH instead of RoLl her EyEs and SiGh. She'll probably even forget the about the mess and MiSs you terribly...And who knows...maybe her just knowing that you recognize that she got the CrUmMy end of the deal this time might help her AtTaCk those dishes with GrAtiTuDe and LoVe as she thinks of her SmArT and PrOaCtiVe husband.

Can't Sleep...

The end of the school year is here and what a surprise, I cannot SleEp. There are so many things that run through my MiNd this time of year. There's the normal StUfF that seems to plague me most when things at work get HeCtiC, and there's the EnD of the year StUfF that must be held in a delicate balance...you can't do too much too soon because school isn't over, but you can't wait until the last hour because you want to be OuT the door AsaP. I keep saying I need to make a BiG FaT list and just go at it...if nothing else maybe it will just help to get it all out there...

• Start and finish AvErAginG grades.
• HoUnD those notorious ones who still have MiSsInG WoRk
• Make a LiSt of all of the BrIlLiaNt ideas I've had throughout the course of the year. The conversation in my mind usually sounds like this, "Well that was a BiG, FaT FloP...next year I'll do this instead". I have to write them down to avoid repeating said FloPs.
• Do DiShEs...we have no clean SiLvErwArE...YiKeS!
• Make AwArDs for the FiFth GrAdE Spelling Bee, Track Meet, Brainiacs, and Art Show.
• Write a LeTteR to my kids' parents thanking them for sharing their TeRrIfiC kids with me this year.
• OrGaNiZe my files so teaching the same grade level next year will be to my GreAtEsT benefit.
• Somehow get my kids from the 1920s to the end of WWII in 10.5 days...without them DeSpiSinG me for it!
• Figure out an end of the year GiFt for my kids and MaKe it.
• R.S.V.P. for the EnD of the YeAr PaRtY...do I want ChIcKeN or PorK?
• Sit down with Dan to plan our AnNiVeRsArY.
• Somehow figure out where we can have a GaRdEn without getting EleCtrIcUteD upon digging.
• Write NoTeS to my kids.
• Make those DoCtoR appointments I've been putting off for a few years now...Seriously another summer cannot pass without me taking care of some silly things.
• Make a SliDeShOw so all of the pictures I take throughout the year can be put to good use.
• EnJoY my last few days with them in the midst of the ChAoS...SaVoR how truly DeLiGhtfuL my group of 27 is this year.
• Try to SlEeP so I can end the year a KiNd and PaTieNt teacher, wife, friend, and person.

With that, I'm done for now...Just thinking about all of it is making me TiReD :) Who knows maybe I should have been doing the above mentioned things instead of just writing about them, but it's too LaTe for that...I'm off to BeD!