The Present

Some truths that have been staring me in the face this week:

Life on Earth is short.

Life is unpredictable.

I count it a privilege to share in others' stories. My job allows me to share in so many, and my community at Bloomingdale Church affords even more opportunities. I hear bits and pieces of stories from the lives of family and college and high school friends through facebook, phone conversations, blogs, emails, etc. Stories are all around me...

Some heartbreaking quotes from this week include:

"S won't be at school tomorrow. Her step-brother committed suicide over the weekend"
~Our School Social Worker

"I just got called down to sign my pink slip."
~ Friends and Co-workers who lost their jobs this week

"I feel guilty that my parents spend so much money on karate for me. I'm terrified of foreclosure."
~Journal Entry from a Fifth Grade Student

"My lunch mom's husband died last night"
~Colleague and Friend

"The cancer spread to my lungs. Chemo starts tomorrow."
~ Women's Bible Study

I could go on, but I'll stop there. I think you get the idea.

I mention pieces of these stories not to depress you or stir up fear . I mention them because I am being changed by them. These are stories from everyday people. People like me, and most likely, people like you. They remind me of my frailty and lack of control in life. They scream REALITY to one who thinks she (me) is in control and pretends to have a PLAN. They teach me to be content and grateful. They teach me to be generous with time. They teach me to take myself less seriously. They teach me to take myself more seriously. They teach me to care deeply, to weep, and mourn. They teach me to LOVE...

My heart is overwhelmed. As I write this, I wonder if there is any way I can possibly express the awakening happening inside of me. I am moved.

Not knowing what lies ahead in this world gives me a FREEDOM in the PRESENT. Thoughts and worries that so often fill my mind vanish when I consider my lack of control. Instead I am filled with the desire to make the most of each moment...to be fully PRESENT.

I am one who has dwelt upon the past on a regular basis. Sometimes I dwell on the past because hurtful things myself or others have done continue to mess with my heart today. Other times I want to go back because I was so much happier, prettier, skinnier, more peaceful, confident, fun...back then.

I've also been one to dwell on the future i.e. what will we do with our lives, when can we have kids, will we have enough, will we get to do this or that...? What if something happens to _____, _______, _______, or _______?

I foolishly dwell on these things. All the while, I miss out on fully experiencing the PRESENT...the time that, ironically, was once my FUTURE and will soon become my PAST.

I cannot know what my life on Earth has in store for tomorrow, the next day, or any day after that for that matter. The stories I have heard from this week alone give me no choice to deny this fact. All I know is what my life on Earth holds at this moment so I pray that this recent movement in my heart and mind will continue to change me and that I will be given humility and strength to love deeply in all things big and small....to love deeply NoW because I do not know what quotes my story will hold tomorrow.
Whatever may come to pass, it is my HoPe that this quote will AlwayS be the central theme of my story:

Above all, LoVe each other DeePly...there is no FeAr in LoVe.
~ The Author of EvErY story